Why God Doesn't Want Me at The Lion King

I still don’t have the answer to that and okay, maybe it wasn’t God but I tell you that some higher power in this universe did not want me there! First things first – right around “time to go” I looked where I thought the tickets were, but they weren’t there! I tore up the house looking for them and finally gave up. I thought I had received a copy on my email but I was wrong. I then decided to call the Detroit Opera House directly to see if we would still be able to get in if I just printed off my receipt; of course I could get a hold of no live person on the phone. We are totally late by this time so I just decide to chance it, grab Keely and start driving to Detroit. Needless to say I was SPEEDING because we were so late and I get pulled over going 86 in a 70. The police man was nice enough to only write me up for 5 over and we are back on our way when I see a sign, followed by more signs that says I-75 is closed – that is the only way I know to get to the theatre and if you’re familiar at all with Detroit you know that it is the last place in the world that you would ever want to get lost! So, I pull off some random (and scary) road in Detroit and punch the address in my navigation system and once again we are on the road!

Finally we get there, pay an insane amount to park and go in and get sent to Will Call while they’re calling “final seating” over the intercom. I’m praying the whole time in line that I get some really friendly, helpful customer service person that’s willing to make some exceptions but we all know that’s not in the stars. Instead I get a girl who’s worn out from dealing with issues all day and is just like, “Oh, the company you bought these from is not affiliated with us, can’t help you, and NOT my problem.” I was even trying to use the “look at my cute, desperate, sweet daughter who’s been looking forward to this for a long time” angle – nothing! This is when I realize that I will get nowhere without crying which is not hard because I’m already holding back. I walk up choking back tears and barely able to speak to one of the ushers, ask to talk to a manager and she goes and gets her manager who is just one of the usher managers and can’t really help with ticket sales. She does take pity on us however and says that she’ll sneak us in, but if we get caught we’re on our own. She gives me a few tips on how to navigate to our seats and what to say if someone asks us for our tickets and then sends us on our way. We find some seats (not ours) and sit in them and then I spend the whole first half of the show worrying that some big bouncer guy with a flash light is going to approach us at any second, make a scene in front of everyone and then kick us out. We end up making it to intermission and once we sit down for the second half I start to relax and enjoy the show, until…

I remember my dream from the other night where I get mugged in a parking lot that looks just like the one we parked in! All the sudden I start thinking, “Maybe we weren’t supposed to come here. Maybe God put so many roadblocks in our way so that we would just turn around and not get mugged! Oh crap, how am I going to protect Keely?” Okay, I realize that sounds insane but you just have to understand my day – it really didn’t seem so farfetched at the time! So after the show was over I try to leave with as much crowd as possible. I walk with the other people going to the parking lot and I stay with them as long as possible (I’m sure they thought I was totally invading their space). As soon as I realize we’re going to have to split from other people I pick up Keely, run to the car, get in and LOCK the door. It’s only once I look around and realize that we’re just fine and that there are no muggers standing around that I realize how crazy I really am, but I still will not relax until I’m safely out of Detroit.

Finally I’m on the freeway, take a deep breath and Keely pipes up from the back seat, “Mom, that was the best show ever and I love going on dates with you!” All the sudden my day’s not so bad!

Before the show (nice and relaxed)

On the way out of the show (sweaty and gross)